Making meaning of loss and friendships

Loss is a concept that comes up in therapy all the time.  When I was a social work student, I automatically connected loss with death.  Over the past decade the definition has broadened in so may ways.  Loss can be related to relationships, moving, health, participation in activities, aging and so many other ways.  Loss is inevitable, its what we do next that determines a lot.

Yes, friendships come and go over the course of time, but what about friendships that change.   Sometimes, when I look at old photo albums, I feel a lot of sadness for not putting more effort into maintaining relationships.  Life gets busy, people move forward and some relationship fade away.  I like to believe that does not take away any of the meaning and joy that these people brought to my life when we were closer.  Many of us have those childhood friends that are still in our lives.  Are they still in our lives because we are close, have a lot in common and enjoy spending time together?  Or are they still here because that is just the way it is.

The big question is what do we do with this feeling of loss.  As people, our first instinct is to avoid or dismiss hard feelings.  We want to pretend its no big deal or does not really impact us.  What may the experience be like to sit with this uncomfortable feeling? To acknowledge it and even accept that it exists.  It may feel painful but also may feel really empowering to validate our own feelings and experience.  Loss is such a universal concept and feeling, it just varies how we chose to define it.  I am a believer in broadening this definition in hopes that people find comfort that they are not alone in their loss and it is a very normal experience.