I hate the word Productive

By definition, productive is being efficient and effective at the same time, spending more time, energy, and attention on making progress on the tasks that matter.  What does that actually mean?  Who defines what being efficient and effective mean? How does one define making product on a task?

When I was in my 20’s my friends would refer to me as the laid-back friend.  The one who was never really anxious and always go with the flow. As I have gotten older and had a family, I have quickly become a Type A stereotype.  I live by my google calendar, I am always on time and spend way too much energy in my brain organizing mine and my family’s life.  However, the longer I have been working with clients often a lot like me, I have really begun to hate the word productive.  It seems like a set up for failure. 

Some people use the word productive as a badge of honor.  We all know those people who humble brag how they beautifully manage the 100 things they have going on in their lives. Good for them.  For me, it just leads to internal judgment about everything I am not doing.  It leads me to define a day by productive or non-productive. That feels so binary and unfair to myself.   Some of the days where I feel my best are hanging out with friends just talking, maybe reading, and almost always taking a nap.  Perhaps for me, that is being efficient and effective.

At some point in my career this metaphor was shared with me and I love sharing it with others.  I am not giving credit where it is due, so I apologize to this brilliant person who introduced me to this concept.  We have a lot of balls in the air. When we truly think about the ball we are juggling, which ones are glass and which ones are rubber.  If a rubber ball drops, it bounces, and hey it can even live in a corner for a while and collect dust. When you ready, you can wipe it off and begin juggling with it again.  Nothing bad happens.  When we drop a glass ball, it shatters.  Those are the ball we want to put our energy into.  Most of our ball are rubber.  A very few are glass.  Taking care of ourself is a glass ball.  Maybe prioritizing your family or your health is a glass ball.  I tell clients, they are not allowed to have more then three glass balls when doing this exercise. Realistically, most of our world does not break if we drop a few things, get behind, need more help, feel overwhelmed.  Most of the time, we can take a breath, take a break, and begin juggling again with manageable consequences.   Most of our world is rubber balls.

Not everything we do and care about is created equal.  How do we decide what is important to us and only us to prioritize?  How do we begin to let go of the internal and external pressure that we have to keep all these balls in the air?  What if we begin the change the language, we use to describe how we move through the day, and make choices?  What if we begin to change or adjust what we value? 

I see potential to feel less stressed and most importantly more proud of what we actually are doing instead of running through our day like it is a checklist.  I would encourage you to try taking the work productive out of your vocabulary, release yourself from the judgement of needing to do more and see how you feel.  Spend more time focusing on the glass balls.